My Special Secret to a Long and Healthy Life: Gift Foods

I am not a shopping enthusiast. Except around the holidays, I hate the parking problems, I don’t enjoy browsing aisle after aisle looking for something that would be honestly appreciated by Grandma or Uncle Arthur. I certainly do not like waiting on line with frustrated people killing time for the lone employee to handle a complicated exchange. During the holidays, I enjoy strolling through stores just people watching, without being burdened with bulky packages. The experience for some reason gets me into a holiday mood, but I do my actual shopping and buying almost entirely on the web. That’s a practice I developed in the very early years of the Web.

While online shopping keeps me from being pushed around in a busy department store or standing in line at a little boutique, it doesn’t keep me from the most dreaded part of any gift giving event; choosing the right gift for a birthday, a holiday, a sick friend or whomever. Then about five years ago, I discovered food.

That wasn’t very honestly phrased, because I discovered food when I was still an infant. But I didn’t discover food as a gift idea until recently. You see, at that time I received a gift basket full of hardly edible sausages, processed cheese spreads (mostly chemicals I think) and crackers that were about as crunchy as a rock. However, the poor quality of what passed as food in that gift turned out to be my inspiration. “What,” I thought, “If I had received genuinely good food?” How different that would have been, and how much I would have enjoyed it.

Since then, I have been busy conducting research (that’s just my word for “sampling”). I have found online vendors who offer genuine quality for about the same price that you can get that synthetic stuff at the mall. (You know the one I mean, but I’m not about to open myself to a libel or slander charge by naming the brand.) Just like the mall kiosks, the online shops handle all the shipping, gift cards, everything. I know that my gifts will be exceptionally pleasant surprises for all of my gift recipients.

These Internet shops offer everything from gourmet fruit baskets to lobster dinners (well, they won’t be alive when they are actually eaten), from wine gift baskets to cookie bouquets. The array of gift foods is really quite amazing.

For those on my gift list who live nearby, I usually assemble my own gift baskets. Even in those cases, the Internet comes to my rescue with helpful suggestions about how to make my self-assembled gift foods more interesting. The available articles also have great gift ideas for special people who often happen to be especially difficult when it comes to choosing a gift.

 

If you see me walking down a store aisle with a huge smile on my face when everybody else seems frantic, you will now know my secret. But don’t tell my Uncle Arthur.

 

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